ANONYMOUS

A man called up the local armory to get a report on the number and status of the weapons and vehicles. A private answered the phone and said, "We've got 3 jeeps, 4 tanks, 500 rifles, and a ton of ammo. Oh, we also have two Cadillacs for the fat generals." 

There was silence, then this response, "Private, do you know who I am?" 

"No." 

"I'm General Westin." 

"General, do you know who I am?" 

"No." 

"See you later, fatty."

Source Unknown.

Jean Frederick Oberlin, a minister in 18th century Germany, was traveling by foot in winter when he was caught in a severe snowstorm. He soon lost his way in the blowing snow and feared he would freeze to death. In despair he sat down, not knowing which way to turn. Just then, a man came along in a wagon and rescued Oberlin. He took him to the next village and made sure he would be cared for. As the man prepared to journey on, Oberlin said, "Tell me your name so that I may at least have you in grateful remembrance before God." The man, who by now had recognized Oberlin, replied, "You are a minister. Please tell me the name of the Good Samaritan." Oberlin said, "I cannot do that, for it is not given in the Scriptures." His benefactor responded, "Until you can tell me his name, please permit me to withhold mine."

Source Unknown.